Why Building Relationships with Students Matters

Here are three key reasons why building relationships with your elementary students is essential for classroom teachers:

1. Increases Student Engagement and Motivation

   When students feel seen, valued, and understood, they are more likely to participate, take risks, and stay motivated. A strong teacher-student relationship can make a safe space where students are eager to learn and try their best.

   
   

2. Builds Trust and Promotes Positive Behavior

   Positive relationships help students trust their teacher and feel secure in the classroom environment. This trust leads to better behavior, more cooperation, and fewer conflicts between students. Students will then know their teacher cares about them as individuals.

3. Supports Social-Emotional and Academic Growth

   Students thrive when their emotional needs are met. When teachers invest in relationships, they can better recognize and respond to students’ social and academic needs, also being able to support each child's growth in confidence and achievement.

   
   
   
   

How do you build those relationships?

Here are just a couple of fun and meaningful activities you can use in your classroom to help build strong, healthy relationships between you and your students. Remember, as a teacher, it’s important to find activities that work best for you and match your students’ unique personalities and needs.

Class Meetings or Circle Time

A class meeting is a special time set aside during the school day for students and the teacher to come together in a circle or group to talk, listen, share, and connect. These meetings are a powerful tool for building a positive classroom culture where every student feels seen, heard, and valued. We often start our day off with a class meeting or circle sharing time. Often, you might think about finishing your day with a class meeting to help support all the celebrations that happen during the day with academic growth and/or connections with SEL.

Class meetings help build strong relationships between students and the teacher. When students have a regular chance to share their thoughts, celebrate successes, or talk about challenges in a safe and respectful setting, they begin to trust their teacher more deeply. They see that their teacher cares not just about their academics, but about who they are as people. This builds a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and emotional safety that helps students take risks and engage more fully in learning.

Class meetings also strengthen relationships among classmates. When students share ideas, give compliments, solve problems together, or simply greet one another warmly, they learn to listen, show empathy, and work cooperatively. These moments build community, reduce conflicts, and help students feel a sense of belonging. They encourage students to support each other, value differences, and take responsibility for their actions and the classroom environment.

We have found this activity to be so powerful in building and maintaining a strong sense of community within your classroom all year long.

Read Aloud to Your Class

Reading aloud in your classroom can be a powerful and purposeful tool that supports both literacy development and social-emotional learning (SEL). It’s truly a double hit—helping children grow as readers and as people.

From a literacy perspective, reading aloud models fluent reading and introduces students to rich, expressive language they might not encounter in everyday conversation or even their independent reading. It builds listening comprehension, teaches story structure, and exposes children to new vocabulary in context, which helps strengthen word knowledge and language development. Listening to well-chosen texts read aloud also nurtures imagination, curiosity, and a deeper understanding of how stories and informational texts work. For early readers or English language learners, hearing stories aloud is especially important—it bridges the gap between decoding words and understanding meaning.

But reading aloud does even more—it’s also a strong tool for building social and emotional skills. Stories provide safe opportunities for students to see the world through someone else’s eyes. As they hear about characters navigating feelings like disappointment, jealousy, courage, kindness, or forgiveness, students begin to identify with those emotions and reflect on their own experiences. This naturally builds empathy, self-awareness, and compassion. Books can also open doors to conversations about fairness, friendship, diversity, inclusion, and dealing with challenges—topics that help students understand themselves and others better.

In addition, reading aloud creates a shared classroom experience. It fosters a sense of community, strengthens the bond between teacher and students, and sets a positive tone for respectful dialogue. It becomes a moment in the day that invites connection, thinking, and feeling—all at once.

When you read aloud, you're not just teaching reading skills; you're shaping the whole child. You’re planting seeds of understanding, kindness, and confidence, while also laying the fou

When you read aloud, you're not just teaching reading skills; you're shaping the whole child. You’re planting seeds of understanding, kindness, and confidence, while also laying the foundation for a lifelong love of books and learning.

We believe one of our non-negotiable items for the day is our read-aloud time. We Read Every Day! You can find a book about almost anything that you are teaching to your class, and there are so many SEL books now available.

Lunch Bunch

Lunch Bunch is a simple, low-preparation activity that can be done just once or twice a week, yet it has the power to make a lasting impact on your classroom culture. By inviting small groups of students to eat lunch with you in the classroom, you create a relaxed and informal setting where authentic conversations naturally unfold.

Without the pressure of structured lessons or academic expectations, students often feel more comfortable expressing themselves. As a result, you'll notice relationships between peers begin to blossom, and your own connection with students grows stronger. This unstructured time allows you to see students in a new light, learn about their interests, and show them that you care about who they are beyond the classroom.

These casual, low-key interactions often lead to deeper trust and increased openness. Students who may be shy or reserved in class might find their voice during these moments. You’ll hear laughter, witness genuine connection, and feel a greater sense of community forming.

The beauty of Lunch Bunch is in its simplicity—but the outcomes are profound. When students feel seen, heard, and valued by their teacher and peers, they’re more likely to engage positively in learning and take ownership of their role in the classroom community. Investing just a little time in unstructured, relationship-focused activities like Lunch Bunch can significantly enhance your classroom climate and student well-being.

Remember, as a teacher, it's essential to find activities that align with your teaching style and meet the unique personalities and needs of your students. The takeaway from this post is to be intentional about building strong relationships and creating a safe, supportive classroom environment. When students feel valued, their academic progress and social development will thrive. You'll be amazed by the growth you see over time.

• Michelle & Heidi

References

•Pianta, R. C., Hamre, B. K., & Stuhlman, M. W. (2003)

Relationships Between Teachers and Children – Early positive connections build engagement and achievement.

•Wentzel, K. R. (2009)

Students’ Relationships with Teachers as Motivational Contexts – Supportive relationships boost motivation and participation.

•Cornelius-White, J. (2007)

Learner-Centered Teacher-Student Relationships Are Effective – Positive bonds improve behavior and academic outcomes.

•Hamre, B. K., & Pianta, R. C. (2001)

Early Teacher–Child Relationships and Long-Term Outcomes – Strong early ties support future success.

•Jones, S. M., & Kahn, J. (2017)

The Evidence Base for How We Learn (Aspen Institute) – Relationships are core to emotional and academic development.

•Durlak, J. A., et al. (2011)Impact of Social and Emotional Learning Programs – Relationship-based SEL improves academics and behavior.

Professional Reading - Book Titles

• The First Days of School by Harry K. Wong & Rosemary T. Wong

• Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Fay & David Funk

• All Learning Is Social and Emotional by Nancy Frey, Douglas Fisher, & Dominique Smith

  
  

Articles

• "Teacher–Student Relationships and Academic and Behavioral Adjustment: Longitudinal Perspectives"📄 By: Hughes, J. N. (2011) – Journal of School Psychology

• "Positive Teacher–Student Relationships: Why and How They Matter"📄 By: McGrath, K. F., & Van Bergen, P. (2015) – Australian Journal of Teacher Education

• "Classroom Management That Works: Research-Based Strategies for Every Teacher" (Chapter excerpt)📄 By: Robert Marzano (2003)

• "The Evidence Base for How We Learn: Supporting Students’ Social, Emotional, and Academic Development"📄 From: The Aspen Institute (2017)

• "Supporting Social-Emotional Learning with Effective Teacher-Student Interactions"📄 By: Bridget Hamre & Robert Pianta (2010) – CLASS Framework Research